Saturday, April 02, 2011

Postcard a la Rondel

I'm wishing you were here.
I miss you when you're gone, you know.
It's only off to Grandma's you go,
but at home it seems more austere.

Without you, there's a little less cheer,
along with toilets that don't overflow.
I'm wishing you were here.
I miss you when you're gone, you know.

No worries about talk you'll overhear,
peace and quiet we'll have, although
I'm anticipating your return hello.
I can't wait for you to reappear.
I'm wishing you were here.

* * * * *

This poem was written in response to a prompt at Poetic Asides to write a postcard poem.

11 comments:

  1. Sweet and nicely crafted ... and so true. The house is empty when they're gone. But just wait until they grow up and move out permanently. You adjust, but still ...

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  2. Marianne, thank you for your kind words. They make me crazy sometimes, but I do miss them when they're away from home for just one night. Luckily, I have years and years before they move out.

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  3. And when they do there are compensations like grandchildren.

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  4. Mr. Walker, this reminded me of how much I miss my daughter. A well-crafted piece and I love the postcard format. Very clever to write it in a rondel.

    Pamela

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  5. Such yearning in this poem...bittersweet.

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  6. You can't help loving them...

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  7. You hit a universal with this one, Mr. Walker! Well done. I love "I can't wait for you to reappear." I'm in the same boat today. :)

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  8. Mr. W, you shot me right in my empty nest, then through my heart... my Riley is 22 and half a continent away, and I miss her like crazy.

    This was a lovely take on the prompt, using the classic line, "Wish you were here," with sincerity and to great effect.

    Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/04/03/message-in-a-bottle-napowrimo-3/

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  9. I like this! I love the way it rhymes!!

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  10. you give new meaning to well versed...

    nicely done!

    ~ Paula

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  11. Thanks to everyone who commented on my poem; it is most gratifying. I'm glad it spoke to so many of you and resonated in a mostly positive, if not a bit bittersweet way. That "wish you were here" just called out to me to be repeated, so I tried the rondel form; glad it was successful. Thank you again for reading my poem and leaving me such kind words to read.

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