Tuesday, April 12, 2011

NaPoWriMo Day Twelve

a  breaking window is dramatic
arms splayed, shards flying

what was just whole
now unmistakably broken

and we just watch the fall
in slow motion

all the tumbling surfaces caught
by the light - a dark beauty

it doesn't happen to the protagonist
it happens to a supporting character

(spoiler alert)

John Locke, before he was lost,
being pushed through an eighth story window
by his father

Julia McNamara crashing face first
through the plate glass window of a sliding door,
brain befuddled by painkillers and wine

there are cuts, signs of external pain
to reflect the hurt inside

a fractured heart, the refraction
of love's pathways, which should be

straight and true, but light,
like love, is both a particle

and a wave

* * * * *

This poem was written in response to the prompt to write about a broken window at Big Tent Poetry.

24 comments:

  1. Great finishing statement!

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  2. My goodness, Mr. Walker, you have created a powerful piece here. I love the ending. Great write.

    Pamela

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  3. Ha - we kinda had the same idea. Nicely done!

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  4. Mr. Walker, this is wonderful. I can hear the glass breaking, see tumbling surfaces. Bravo to a vivid work!

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  5. This is great. So many ways that glass can be shattered - metaphor or not.

    http://judyidliketosay.blogspot.com/2011/04/great-form.html

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  6. Loved the phrase:

    a fractured heart, the refraction
    of love's pathways

    Indeed, a well-written piece!

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  7. Great poem. I like the pace and imagery. Well done :)

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  8. This is really cool. I don't know if you've seen Magnolia, but your listing of events is similar to the stories at the beginning of that flick. Interesting movie, with a deluge of frogs falling from the sky. ha!

    I love the last three lines. They get me thinking.

    ~Mrs. Warren

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  9. Given that I don't watch cable, is Julia McNamara on Nip/Tuck? That's what Wiki said.

    This is true: We do watch glass shatter in slow-mo. Perhaps it's the momentary shock of the act?

    Very strong writing throughout, and a powerful read. Thanks. Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/04/13/new-shrink-rap-with-johann-ink/

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  10. Stan, thanks, I have to admit to being proud of that ending.

    Pamela, as always, thank you. Powerful is high praise.

    Twitches, we did do similar takes. I liked your poem. Thanks for reading mine.

    Mary, thank you. I wanted it to be vivid, because that's how it's portrayed on television shows.

    Judy, glass lends itself to metaphor so easily. And breaking glass can have so many associations, as you said, even if it's not metaphorical.

    SweetTalkingGuy, thanks. I love comments that are compliments and puns.

    whenwordsescape, thank you. I was hoping someone would mention that line. I'm partial to it myself.

    septembermom, thanks for stopping by, reading my poem, and commenting. Glad you liked the pacing.

    Brenda (Mrs. Warren), thank you. I have yet to see Magnolia, but I will. I'm glad that you liked the ending; I did want to leave the reader thinking.

    Amy, as always, thank you for reading and commenting on my poems. I'm glad you found it strong and powerful. Yes, Julia McNamara is on Nip/Tuck, which my wife and I are streaming via NetFlix. And I'm watching season three of Lost.

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  11. Loved this:

    light,
    like love, is both a particle

    and a wave


    I like the spacing of the last line as well.

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  12. Tilly, thank you. I've been thinking more about my line breaks, and how a variance from the stanza structure of a poem can be used effectively. Glad you liked it.

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  13. Your poem builds to the ending—an earned ending

    Evocative poem and beautifully paced

    Linda

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  14. I like the various tones in this poem that come through...poetic, instructional, and conversational all at the same time!

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  15. I am in awe at the writing skills you have shown in this poem. Shattering.

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  16. You have brought the images to life and called them by name... powerful stuff here!

    ~laurie

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  17. great poem, except I thought you were talking about John Locke the philosopher. Yes, I don't watch tv

    www.thequietone.net

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  18. Linda, thank you. I felt like this one jumped around a bit, so I'm glad the pacing worked for you.

    Jeanne, thank you for your thoughtful comment. Being a teacher, "instructional" happens a lot in my poems, but I like "poetic", of course, and "conversational" too.

    Viv, thank you. I always appreciate your visits. And to have such a compliment about my writing abilities. And a pun too with "Shattering" - you made my day.

    Laurie, thank you. I'm glad you found it "powerful".

    Cathy, thank you for your comment and sorry about the confusion. But kudos to you for knowing the original John Locke. I watch more TV than I should, but even TV can be an inspiration for a poem.

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  19. Fascinating read. Love the mix of characters, real & fictional, your taking on breaking glass.

    I've recently read Egan's "Look at Me" & while your poem is all of its own, I did find a shadow of Charlotte here.

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  20. Hey, wandered over from Big Tent. I thought the end of this poem was especially good, but I thought it was really interesting that you decided to use TV characters. I guess TV shows are like the legends and sagas of our time.

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  21. Deb, thanks for stopping by and for the kind words. Also, thanks for the info about "Look at Me"; it sounds like an interesting book.

    Elizabeth, thanks for coming by after visiting the Big Tent. Glad you liked it, especially the ending. I have to admit they are two TV shows I've been watching lately, so those incidents were there for the taking.

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  22. I love all the shards and angles here! Powerful ending.

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  23. Erin, "shard and angles" - I love it. Thanks for the compliment.

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