a breaking window is dramatic
arms splayed, shards flying
what was just whole
now unmistakably broken
and we just watch the fall
in slow motion
all the tumbling surfaces caught
by the light - a dark beauty
it doesn't happen to the protagonist
it happens to a supporting character
(spoiler alert)
John Locke, before he was lost,
being pushed through an eighth story window
by his father
Julia McNamara crashing face first
through the plate glass window of a sliding door,
brain befuddled by painkillers and wine
there are cuts, signs of external pain
to reflect the hurt inside
a fractured heart, the refraction
of love's pathways, which should be
straight and true, but light,
like love, is both a particle
and a wave
* * * * *
This poem was written in response to the prompt to write about a broken window at Big Tent Poetry.
Great finishing statement!
ReplyDeleteMy goodness, Mr. Walker, you have created a powerful piece here. I love the ending. Great write.
ReplyDeletePamela
Ha - we kinda had the same idea. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteMr. Walker, this is wonderful. I can hear the glass breaking, see tumbling surfaces. Bravo to a vivid work!
ReplyDeleteThis is great. So many ways that glass can be shattered - metaphor or not.
ReplyDeletehttp://judyidliketosay.blogspot.com/2011/04/great-form.html
Smashing stuff, sir!
ReplyDeleteLoved the phrase:
ReplyDeletea fractured heart, the refraction
of love's pathways
Indeed, a well-written piece!
Great poem. I like the pace and imagery. Well done :)
ReplyDeleteThis is really cool. I don't know if you've seen Magnolia, but your listing of events is similar to the stories at the beginning of that flick. Interesting movie, with a deluge of frogs falling from the sky. ha!
ReplyDeleteI love the last three lines. They get me thinking.
~Mrs. Warren
Given that I don't watch cable, is Julia McNamara on Nip/Tuck? That's what Wiki said.
ReplyDeleteThis is true: We do watch glass shatter in slow-mo. Perhaps it's the momentary shock of the act?
Very strong writing throughout, and a powerful read. Thanks. Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/04/13/new-shrink-rap-with-johann-ink/
Stan, thanks, I have to admit to being proud of that ending.
ReplyDeletePamela, as always, thank you. Powerful is high praise.
Twitches, we did do similar takes. I liked your poem. Thanks for reading mine.
Mary, thank you. I wanted it to be vivid, because that's how it's portrayed on television shows.
Judy, glass lends itself to metaphor so easily. And breaking glass can have so many associations, as you said, even if it's not metaphorical.
SweetTalkingGuy, thanks. I love comments that are compliments and puns.
whenwordsescape, thank you. I was hoping someone would mention that line. I'm partial to it myself.
septembermom, thanks for stopping by, reading my poem, and commenting. Glad you liked the pacing.
Brenda (Mrs. Warren), thank you. I have yet to see Magnolia, but I will. I'm glad that you liked the ending; I did want to leave the reader thinking.
Amy, as always, thank you for reading and commenting on my poems. I'm glad you found it strong and powerful. Yes, Julia McNamara is on Nip/Tuck, which my wife and I are streaming via NetFlix. And I'm watching season three of Lost.
Loved this:
ReplyDeletelight,
like love, is both a particle
and a wave
I like the spacing of the last line as well.
Tilly, thank you. I've been thinking more about my line breaks, and how a variance from the stanza structure of a poem can be used effectively. Glad you liked it.
ReplyDeleteYour poem builds to the ending—an earned ending
ReplyDeleteEvocative poem and beautifully paced
Linda
I like the various tones in this poem that come through...poetic, instructional, and conversational all at the same time!
ReplyDeleteI am in awe at the writing skills you have shown in this poem. Shattering.
ReplyDeleteYou have brought the images to life and called them by name... powerful stuff here!
ReplyDelete~laurie
great poem, except I thought you were talking about John Locke the philosopher. Yes, I don't watch tv
ReplyDeletewww.thequietone.net
Linda, thank you. I felt like this one jumped around a bit, so I'm glad the pacing worked for you.
ReplyDeleteJeanne, thank you for your thoughtful comment. Being a teacher, "instructional" happens a lot in my poems, but I like "poetic", of course, and "conversational" too.
Viv, thank you. I always appreciate your visits. And to have such a compliment about my writing abilities. And a pun too with "Shattering" - you made my day.
Laurie, thank you. I'm glad you found it "powerful".
Cathy, thank you for your comment and sorry about the confusion. But kudos to you for knowing the original John Locke. I watch more TV than I should, but even TV can be an inspiration for a poem.
Fascinating read. Love the mix of characters, real & fictional, your taking on breaking glass.
ReplyDeleteI've recently read Egan's "Look at Me" & while your poem is all of its own, I did find a shadow of Charlotte here.
Hey, wandered over from Big Tent. I thought the end of this poem was especially good, but I thought it was really interesting that you decided to use TV characters. I guess TV shows are like the legends and sagas of our time.
ReplyDeleteDeb, thanks for stopping by and for the kind words. Also, thanks for the info about "Look at Me"; it sounds like an interesting book.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, thanks for coming by after visiting the Big Tent. Glad you liked it, especially the ending. I have to admit they are two TV shows I've been watching lately, so those incidents were there for the taking.
I love all the shards and angles here! Powerful ending.
ReplyDeleteErin, "shard and angles" - I love it. Thanks for the compliment.
ReplyDelete