Monday, April 04, 2011

Agitation

my world is prodigious
blue and wide and fluid
not that dry, brown stuff
you go on and on about
it's just dirt - it has no depth

you've harried it to the point
of sterility, so you have to
leave fields fallow to recover

what should be omnipotent
is instead just docile

I don't mean to come off
sounding supercilious but
who do you think you are
naming our planet earth
sounds like your preconceptions
talking again

you should be more like me
go with the flow, as we say

(I almost said down here
but that would just feed
your misguided superiority complex)

but now that I mention it
when I look up at the sky
your world pushing down on mine
I see the way the sunlight speckles
the surface, the way the light
itself journeys into our world
from yours, auroras that constantly
shimmer and dance during the day
and then I find I pity you
and your small, flat, dry world

* * * * *

This poem was inspired by a wordle created by Brenda Warren.  Thanks, Brenda. I also used the prompt idea from Big Tent Poetry to write a poem "as though you are a fish".

12 comments:

  1. This is wonderful, and speaks from something much larger than a fish eye view. It's interesting to read it with religion in mind. Just a thought. Great writing. Glad you stopped by the Bozone!
    ~Brenda

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  2. Nice one, Mr. Walker! I agree w/Brenda...interesting to read with religion in mind. ~Paula

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  3. Brenda, thanks for the prompt. I'm pleased with what it inspired. And thanks for stopping by during recess to talk with me. I didn't have religion in mind when I wrote it, but I've gone back and re-read it. I think you're right. I wouldn't go so far as to say it's allegorical because I think that has to be intentional, but it does lend itself to that interpretation.
    Paula, thanks for your kind words.

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  4. Bravo! Mr. Walker, you took those words to another dimension and so eloquently. I love that last stanza.

    Pamela

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  5. Pamela, thank you for your kind comments. It was fun trying to come up with something to connect those words.

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  6. Life is much better/down where it's wetter/under the sea! (Little Mermaid)
    I loved the fish's-eye viewpoint, Mr. W. And that fish has definitely been to school, so eloquent in its defiance and pity for us dirt-dwellers. Loved this! Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/04/05/black-history-month/

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  7. Amy, as always, thanks for stopping by and reading my poems. I love reading your comments. And you snuck in a clever pun too!

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  8. This feels a bit mystical to me and magical as well - wonderful piece.

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  9. Wonderful thought experiment; I especially like the indignation about naming the planet Earth. Makes sense in a fishy way. :)

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  10. Nan said:
    At the end of the poem I am wondering why the fish spends so much time thinking about the earth. Doth he protest too much? :-) Very interesting read. I could hear the fish's voice!
    (copied from comments accidentally left for another poem)

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  11. Nan, thank you for reading "Agitation". He is a bit of a cranky, complaining fish, isn't he? Just a tad bitter. I was going for the idea that he lives on the planet Earth too, but he doesn't identify with earth but with water instead. I'm glad the fish's voice came through.

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  12. tumblewords and Joseph, thank you both for your kind words. It was a fun poem to write; this prompt really called to me. I liked the fishy persona, and it did come to take on a magical/mystical quality that I did not intend and yet which I think did come out in the writing. Again, thank you both for stopping by, reading my poem, and leaving such kind words.

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