Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Tonic Town

i wanted to surrender
to love of grace
but she made it so hard

she would thin her gin
her evening meal
every day except sunday
she didn't eat at all
on sundays
which is how
she stayed so thin

god, she was beautiful

empty calories
for an empty heart
that i wanted to fill

my better self wanted
to fill it with love
my baser self just wanted
to fill it
with a need for me

and she smelled so fine
that i was rarely thin
when i was near her
i would say her scent
was intoxicating
but that would give
the wrong impression

i joked that she had
surrendered to grace
the baser grace
that was a mirror of me
but it wasn't funny

a jigger of this
a jigger of that
then the jitters set in

i wanted to surrender
to grace
but i didn't

she had already
surrendered herself
to something greater
than me

i'm sorry, grace
that i couldn't save you
from your surrender

* * * * *

This poem was written in response to the Take the driver's seat! prompt at We Write Poems:

First consider what prompt would be an interesting and challenging prompt for you, including then what you think would be good for the group. Then 1) write a brief paragraph describing the poem prompt itself, and 2) go ahead and write your own poem to that prompt.

For my poem, I used surrender as the theme from Sunday Scribblings, and grace, thin, and jitter from Three Word Wednesday.

So, here's my prompt:

One, select a prompt from a site like Poetic Asides, Writer's Island, Sunday Scribblings, or One Single Impression. This will be the topic or theme of your poem. Two, select some words from a site like Three Word Wednesday or a wordling whirl of Sundays. Now, consider your theme/topic and your words. See if those words will help you explore or expand on your theme, or see if your topic opens up, leading down unexpected avenues, as you play with those words. Trust your poetic intuition and imagination. You could choose prompts that you haven't previously responded to, or revisit ones you've already done, or find a prompt that previously stumped you, and see if this take on it will help you get a poem written.


  1. Amazing. Myriad prompts, strung together, inspire a perfect poetic piece. You made Grace real to me. You made your love affair real. and her surrender, sadly, real. You are a true creator.

  2. There seems to be so much truth in this piece, Richard. Interesting prompt with quite poetic results.


  3. Surrender and grace work well together on many levels. Alcohol drives lives, it's sad. I got a good feel for grace from the piece. Well done. I like your prompt idea, too.

  4. Kim, thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful comments. I took a great deal of poetic license, but I did have someone in mind as I wrote this.

    Pamela, thanks. I have done this sort of combination of prompts before, so I was glad to see the idea from We Write Poems.

    Brenda, thank you. I didn't know what to do with those three words, and then when I looked again at surrender, things started to fall into place. I hope they use my prompt idea.


  5. Really like both prompt and the resulting poem. Have done similar things on occasion and it does work well, creating new avenues of thought and possibilities. Grace is all too familiar to me, and yes there is sadness in that memory,


  6. Elizabeth, thank you. Glad that you like the prompt idea and the poem. It's a little unnerving how many people know someone like Grace.


  7. A strong poem, Richard. You have told an important story Yes, I think we all know Grace and are saddened by our knowledge that we cannot help.

  8. Mary, thanks. The disparity between what we know and what we can do is often sad.


  9. stron indeed....and nicely done.....thanks for sharing this

  10. Wayne, thank you for the kind words. Thanks for stopping by.