Sunday, March 20, 2011

Brotherhood

I fell in love with a girl
from the other village
I was out with my brothers
sowing their fallow fields with salt
She was out with her sisters
sinking arrows into our sheep
We hate them and they hate us
I was supposed to rise into love
with one of my own, to belong
But I loved the way the light
gleamed off the sweat on her skin
her skin that was the wrong color
I wanted to sneak off at night
to hold her in my embrace
and look at the stars and listen
to the stories of her elders
the false myths of their sky heroes
and the pagan gods they believe in
My righteous passions would fill me
and I would conquer her, invading,
my sex touching her sex
the two others meeting as they should
But I told my brother of my love
and now I scrawl these traitorous words
on my cell wall in my own blood
which my brothers will spill tomorrow at dawn.

* * *

This poem was written in response to the prompt at Poetic Asides to write a poem in response to another poem. I wrote this poem in response to "The People of the Other Village" by Thomas Lux.

4 comments:

  1. Mr. W, thanks for stopping by my blog. This was a very good take on the Lux poem, with which I was unfamiliar, so I Googled it.

    Your ending is so sad, poignant, and real. People deny that these events do happen... So glad to have read this, challenging as it is. Great take.

    Amy Barlow Liberatore

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  2. Amy, right back at you. Thanks for stopping by my blog and reading my poem. I'm glad you liked it. It was a bit dark, but then so was the poem I was responding to.

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  3. Mr. Walker,
    Your response poem embodies its character in the same manner a great actress portrays a well-known role. I felt like he spoke directly to me, through the bars of a cell, resigned to a fate that was etched in generations of eroded stone.

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  4. Kim, thank you so much. Your comment was so thoughtful and eloquent. Thank you for such kind words.

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