Friday, June 18, 2010

Two Poems for Big Tent Poetry

for the dreamers

a message resent
this time full
of praise

for the minds
that can see through
the cloud-dark sky
to the stars beyond

who walk gently
on the Earth
but part the herds

making them tremble
those greedy and hungry
those ignorant and dull

those dark comforts
we know are dangerous
in their ease

gravity holds us all down
but starlight makes us shine
if reflected in our eyes

* * * * *

This poem was written in response to a Wordle prompt at Big Tent Poetry.

* * * * *

An Angry Pantoum

Anger, oh my foe, my friend,
how is it you so move me?
It is not a dance I enjoy.
Why are you with me still?

How is it you so move me
to actions of shame and courage?
Why are you with me still
though I have worked to be rid of you?

To actions of shame and courage,
two-faced, you have spurred me on.
Though I have worked to be rid of you,
yet you cling to my fragile heart.

Two-faced, you have spurred me on,
when you should have - and not.
Yet you cling to my fragile heart,
Anger, oh my foe, my friend.

* * * * *

This poem was written in response to the Angry Pantoum prompt at Big Tent Poetry.

16 comments:

  1. Your pantoum was shorter and tighter than mine. I often find that when I write them, they require fleshing out into a full-fledged story.

    And the first poem was brilliant. That final stanza is gorgeous -- and so true. Good use of the prompt words, too.

    -Nicole

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  2. Nicole, thank you for your kind words: "brilliant" and "gorgeous" - I'm stunned and grateful. I'm still getting caught up on reading other's pantoums and poems in response to that Wordle. Thanks again for reading my poems and commenting so generously.

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  3. Nice work! Some amazing use of the words in the wordle! Great work!

    -Weasel

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  4. the pantoum works really well!!!

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  5. 'for the dreamers' is a lovely visionary poem for the visionaries among us! I like how resent, what turns away from, becomes resent, what goes out again.

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  6. I love both poems, though a totally different style! I guess this is why we post here! Great work.

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  7. Thanks to Weasel, Carolee, Brenda, and Diane for your comments.

    Weasel, thanks for noticing how I used those words.

    And Brenda, specifically, for mentioning "resent". It was hard to not go to resentment, but I'm glad I didn't.

    Carolee, thank you for your kind words about my pantoum! I worried about the success of that one.

    Diane, yes, that's why we post - the different challenges, whether they're specific words or a particular form. Thank you for your kind words.

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  8. Two excellent poems. I enjoyed the "lightness" of the first and liked that you used re-sent instead of resent. It took your poem off the beaten path.

    The conversation with anger in the pantoum worked well, and it was a great length. I struggled with mine and it turned out entirely too long. I need to go back and re-work it some time. Two sides of anger - well done.

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  9. I like the idea of anger being a positive influence sometimes when it spurs us to bravery. "for the dreamers" is a great use of the wordle selection and as Nicole says, the last stanza is great; helps us to look kindly upon ourselves!

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  10. Nan, thank you for noticing the "lightness" of my poem. I wanted it to be in praise of stars, literal and figurative, without saying so directly. In my love/hate relationship with anger there are too many things that make me angry, so I wrote about anger directly in my pantoum. Thanks for you kind comments.

    Derrick, anger can be a positive thing - and I wanted to show its other side too. I'm pleased that you, and others, have liked that last stanza. Thank you.

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  11. In the Wordle poem I found the last stanza remarkable, especially "gravity holds us all down/ but starlight makes us shine" as a wonderful way to highlight the narrators praise for dreamers.

    The pantoum is delightful for showing the helpful side of anger, and how intertwined it is with many of our hearts.

    It's lovely to have you writing with the Big Tent. Glad you found us.

    (As far as comments. I used to have a Blogger blog, and I think there are ways to adjust the comment requirements. Try going to "settings" then "comments" then selecting "Registered Users - includes OpenID" and see if that helps allow non-Blogger/Google users to make comments.)

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  12. "for the dreamers" reminds me of the Disney song/saying(?), a dream is a wish your heart makes...only better. It's beautiful, Mr. Walker. The last stanza is my favorite, indeed it does, indeed it does.

    An Angry Pantoum is interesting because you wrote it TO anger. It affords you the opportunity to grapple with it directly. Well written.

    Both pieces are excellent.

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  13. Both poems are very good...the first one has an ending that I just adore, "Starlight makes us shine, if reflected in our eyes"...lovely words!

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  14. These are both strong pieces with good fleshing out of the wordle. Enjoyed reading them!

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  15. I like the sentiment of "for the dreamers" and it has a nice rhythm to it. I also liked the friend/foe contradiction of the pantoum. Anger can be useful if it's channeled properly.

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  16. Deb, Brenda, Cynthia, Tumblewords, and Francis, thank you all for commenting on my poems.

    Deb, thank you for you generous and kind words. I'm enjoying my visits to the Big Tent. I'm glad I found you as well. And thanks for the tips on opening up comments to more visitors. I followed your advice. I hope it's working.

    Brenda, thank you for sharing with me your thoughts. I don't recognize that Disney song/saying, but I like it.

    Cynthia, thank you. I'm so glad that you, like many others, liked that last stanza so much. I'm surprised, but delighted nonetheless.

    Tumblewords, thanks. I like your idea of "fleshing out" - I think that works well with Wordles.

    Francis, thank you for seeing the strengths of two very different poems.

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