Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Changes

he asked me if I felt trapped
did I make the right choices in life
would I go back and make changes

he wasn't lonely - maybe just a little sad
about who he is - something he can't change
so he asked me if I felt trapped

but I don't think he was asking about me
I was just a cipher - a way to ask himself
did I make the right choices in life

it got me thinking nonetheless - he did ask
but no I don't feel trapped in parenthood
I would not go back and make changes

* * * * *

This poem was written in response to the change prompt at Writer's Island.  I also attempted to use the cascade form which I read about on Poetic Asides.

9 comments:

  1. A wonderful take on the prompt! Thanks for sharing!

    -Weasel

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  2. Some deep thinking in this. Enjoyed it.

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  3. Weasel and Anthony, thank you for your comments.

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  4. very thoughtful and though-provoking!

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  5. Dee, thank you for your kind comments.

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  6. I love the way this is structured to lead us subtly through the theme.

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  7. Viv, thank you for your comments. I think the cascade worked reasonably well. It seems a bit clunky to me now - perhaps I can revise it some.

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  8. Mr. W, the observation that you were a cipher and he was asking himself the question... isn't that so common? Like finding a trait in another person that bugs you, only to realize it's a trait of your OWN that you wish you could get rid of!

    Glad you don't feel trapped in parenthood. Most people who ask that are simply afraid to make the commitment and do what it takes to raise and nurture and educate a child, lots of work, but what a blessing! Amy

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  9. Amy,

    Thank you so much for your insightful observations and comments. In a lot of my poems, I like to take on a persona and explore, but this was very autobiographical - and personal. I appreciate your thoughts.

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