Saturday, September 25, 2010

Haibun

I had gone away to write, a solo writer's retreat.  I stayed in a beautiful lodge and I wrote.  But I was restless, so I walked into the neighboring woods, and in a grove where the light was warm and golden, reflecting the autumn leaves, I saw a dryad scamper back to her oak and disappear into it.  I stood until I noticed the light beginning to fade, and the colors of the grove dimmed.  I walked up to the oak, touched its bark, said, "Thank you," and "Goodbye."  Then I walked back to the lodge, more silently than I had come.

in this august place
the trees spoke to me - and I
found ears to listen

* * *

This haibun was written in response to a prompt at Big Tent Poetry.

16 comments:

  1. What a sacred moment you caught here. So grateful you shared it with us!

    My haibun

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  2. The trees have much to impart! Nice haibun.

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  3. The haiku completely matched the reverential tone of the prose. Well done!

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  4. A lovely golden Autumn moment, I enjoyed you Haibun a lot!

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  5. Oh, I love the magic of this. Well done!

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  6. am going to echo gospelwriter, the magic is wonderful. Your haibun is superb with imagery and detail. The haiku a very real finishing touch and end note. Thank you for visiting my site.

    Elizabeth

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  7. I seem to take longer than most to write, spend day off and on reading others' haibun, and then come back here to find such lovely comments. A sincere and grateful thank you to Jule, Tumblewords, Cara, Amanda, and Gospelwriter. Thank you all for your kind words.

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  8. And as I'm leaving that comment, Elizabeth (soulsmusic) leaves me such a kind comment. I was definitely inspired by the suggestion of the haibun form (thanks, Big Tent Poetry) and the idea of a mythical creature. I'm glad to hear I captured that magical feel that I was going for.

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  9. I like how you combine the ordinary with the magical. And that last line of the haiku says it all; we have to be willing to listen!

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  10. A magical haibun...and I just loved the accompanying haiku, especially the words "I found ears to listen."

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  11. I agree it is a magical haibun, so vividly described. I especially like the term august afternoon - I know this does not mean August, but more like regal. Phenomenal. And I very much appreciate your comment on my haibun.

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  12. Now that is magical!
    Pamela

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  13. Linda, Mary, Diane, Pamela, thank you all for your kind comments. I'm most pleased with everyone calling my haibun "magical" - I take that as high praise. And I'm glad the haiku works. I wanted to switch senses, from seeing something to hearing something; I'm glad readers like you are connecting with that.
    Diane, I'm always happy to read and comment on your poems. Thank you right back at your for reading and commenting on mine.

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  14. perfect symbiosis of prose and poem. Atmosphere beautifully painted.

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  15. Like how haiku reminded I listen to the world to write, reminded I must find and use those ears in order to be a writer. Thank-you. Your haibun felt like a mini-writers' retreat.

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  16. Viv, thank you. I'm glad the prose and poem worked together so well for you. I'm curious to learn even more about this form.

    Happy Flower Word Zoo, thanks for such a nice comment. To hear my own words mirrored back so sincerely like that - many thanks.

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